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Subjective jobs raise your blood pressure

26 Mar

I have, for some time, been asking myself why I stay at the job I am. Well, there’s several reasons.

  • Stability
  • More or less a free schedule
  • Most of the time I like the work
  • The job mark is a crap shoot right now (biggie reason)

 

But there’s something to be said for a person who stays in a job where their work is subjective – and where everyone just has to have their input added. It is enough to drive a sane person insane, a non-drink to become an alcoholic, and send a person on the hunt for the strongest street drug they can get their hands on.

Perhaps the most insane part of the whole thing is that I know all the input is wrong, my gut tells me this is a setup for failure, but all the reason that can be said falls on deaf ears. I feel like I’m setting the employees that rely on my work to do their jobs up for failure, but when the ‘final say’ is ‘do it,’ what else do you do? Fight and risk your job; or just shrug and say ‘fine. I’ve said my peace,’ and walk away.

The only consolation – and believe, this isn’t much of a consolation – is that if I ever get my break into writing for TV, I’ve been told this is normal. Producers think they know everything – especially when they don’t. Actors think they should have their input and they don’t realize how poorly thought out their input is. Hell, I bet the damned janitors even get a say! But I can hope I’d be paid what my job is really worth rather than what I am now!

One can hope.

 

What’s your thoughts on a job where your work is subjective? Jobs that entail any kind of creativity like writing, design, art, etc.

 
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Posted in Life, Work

 

But if you eat/drink/sniff/touch enough of it…

10 Mar

Have you heard this story yet: Coke And Pepsi Change Recipe to Avoid Cancer Label?

I remember once talking to someone about all those things that cause cancer – wish I could remember who it was. We were talking about lab rats and how they got cancer from everything it seemed. The person says to me “…well, if I were exposed to gas fumes 24/7 for 6 months, I’d develop cancer too! How is that practical?” So all this “science” comes out, things will kill you or cause cancer, everyone panics because the media likes a good scare over honest news, and everyone stays in their hovels with shotguns at their side.

I remember when all the whales were going to die, and all the trees were going to be cut down, and people would die too. I’m sure that’s probably true, at some point in humanities future, but if it’s going to be a trend who the hell can really stop shit like this? Trends are fleeting and rarely ever turn into hardcore commitments.

There you go. That’s my soapbox moment.

 

Enjoy!

 
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Posted in Life, Randomness

 

Hospitals + rest = wellness?

09 Mar

I just had an ever so lovely four-day visit to my local hospital – I really, really, really dislike my local hospital, so I do say that with a healthy dose of saccharine sarcasm. And don’t even get me started on the hospital’s E.R. room. They should do a reality series on it – no one would ever want to go to the E.R. after that. It’s not the staff that’s so bad. It’s not that it’s completely outdated equipment. It’s just an old hospital, with bad juju, and gives me the utter creeps.

So here’s something I don’t understand. You become ill or injured, you go to the hospital, where you’re supposed to get better, which generally requires a lot of rest. Except at the hospital you can’t get rest because there’s vitals every 2 hours, exorbitant amounts of tests, vampires coming for your blood in the middle of the flippin’ night, various doctors visiting, and, perhaps the most welcomed break of all, visitors. With all of this, rest pretty much a wash.

This idea of hospitals + rest = wellness is illusive, at best. But I guess that’s why you get sent home for a few days of bedrest – to catch up on all that sleep you didn’t get at the hospital. :-)

 
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Posted in Life, Randomness

 

Have you had a shiny objects day?

28 Feb

So I’m sitting at work and I have work that must be done and I have deadlines for this work that must be done. But every time I move, there is something far more interesting and appealing to pay attention to.

This is procrastination, yes. But I’m coming off a focus group where someone used the example that people are lured away to other companies by ‘shiny objects’ that may or may not have merit or where the worth is overstated compared to the real value of a benefit. And that’s kind of how I feel. I keep finding all these very interesting things to do, however, they don’t exactly carry out my job. Like shiny objects, they look far more appealing than they end up being.

So that is why I decided to call these days shiny object days.

 

So, have yo had your shiny object day?

 
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Posted in Fun stuff, Randomness

 

I almost drowned

23 Feb

Tuesday, I took a swig of water, and the next thing I was doing was drowning on 4 ounces of water that wasn’t going down or up. I’m still shaken by how fast it happened, how fast it passed, and how fast everyone else has forgotten about it. I understand the world moves on. In fact, that knowledge has labeled me ‘heartless’ and ‘cold’ many times, because I know the world must move on. Tragedy is meant to be experienced, and then held onto as reference for the next tragedy. In this case, it happened to me. And I haven’t quite figured out why I’m so angry about it happening. Am I angry because it happened where there were people, or am I angry because it didn’t finish me off once and for all? This half assed dying shit is getting old. Fate, God, Allah, whatever – either kill me and be done with it, or leave me the fuck alone. Why stretch it out? Who exactly is this helping?

And on a stranger note. I am not an avid reader by any shot, yet, I bought a Nook, and I’m reading a lot now. I guess it’s more convenient, or it’s a new toy and the shiny hasn’t worn off. Naw. I think it’s because I need a hobby. I don’t have room to scrapbook anymore, and I gave up writing, so I need SOMETHING to do in my free time.

 
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Posted in Life, Randomness

 

Roommates … UGH!

15 Feb

There are days I enjoy having a roommate. I’d lived alone and isolated for so long that the human interaction is nice.

But then there are days like today when I just want to punch my roommate in the face. See, since I moved into this house, on occasion I work from home. I’m a technical writer, and when I’m starting a project from scratch, I find it’s better for my creative juices if I work away from the office. I can put on music, I can get up and wonder around the room while I sort out ideas, and I have a pitcher of tea on hand all day. However (here’s the roommate part), be it jealousy or whatever, my roommate cannot grasp the concept that for 8 hours, I cannot be bothered. I cannot do dishes. I cannot clean house. I cannot babysit her kid. I cannot fix her broken electronics. And that’s what set today’s bad mood off.

She warned me to clean the stove today, and then she got pissed because I wouldn’t help her fix her electronics. She went to bed (she works nights) and finally I had the house to myself to work – until 4pm. Then I had to relocate to my bedroom and mini-notebook so I could finish off my day. That’s when the kid came home. And I told him to go ask mom if he can go play with his friend. I assume he did, but since I was working this wasn’t really my responsibility. I’ve been fighting with the kid to remember taking his dog out to potty, and WAIT for her to potty. Yes, I did say I’ve. Mom has too many other things to do apparently to do this herself.

So I’ve moved to my bedroom to work because I need the solitude and I keep hearing the dog whining. I figured he was outside and ignored it. Then she started barking. I go out to get after her, and the kid’s gone. Well, since his trend is not to take his dog out when he’s supposed to, I did it because if I asked mom she’d bitch at me about it. I put the dog back in mom’s room since the kid is gone and think I can finally get to peaceful work. I took off my headphones in time to hear a vehicle slow down much faster than most do going past our place. I go outside, and the kid and his friend are playing football in the street – which has no streetlights – in the dark. I yell at him for it, because no one else is going to, and drag his ass inside. Then I get after him about the dog and he gives me attitude about it. I just brush it off and try to go back to work. About the time I’m settling back into my writing groove, the roommate comes out yelling at her kid for putting the dog in her room. I lost it. I couldn’t take another distraction, disturbance, or this anymore. After I yelled at her I did it and why, I shut my door, and cranked the music so I could tune them out and finish working.

*sigh* I guess I won’t be working from home anymore. I hear my local library is nice, though.

 
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Posted in Home, Life

 

Totally weird night

26 Jan

Weirdness happened to me last night.

I woke up from a dead sleep and it felt like I was in a swamp. It was humid and hot and sticky. So I got up and turned my radiator off. And went back to bed.

Sometime after that, I woke up several more times. Each time I thought I’d moved to another place in Louisiana, that my clocks were all wrong, and I was going to be late for work. But every time I looked at my clock, it was still 7:20am – my alarm goes off at 8am.

I finally fell back to sleep, only to wake up again because I was really cold. I thought I saw my breath and my bed felt hot to the touch. So I turned on my radiator. And I either did or dreamed I took a shower, and went back to bed.

When my alarm did go off, I was dry, the bed was dry (and not hot or cold), and the radiator was on. It was a very strange night.

 
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Posted in Dreams, Life, Randomness

 

Mourning the death of a dream

15 Jan

I moved last month and I’m finally getting all my boxes unpacked. I got to the boxes with my writing stuff and that’s when this whole spiral began. I haven’t written for over a year – longer when it comes to original work. I haven’t emailed or mailed any query letters or short stories in almost two years. That’s when I think the reality hit – I’ve all but given up on writing. My last positive reaction was a year ago, when I made it to semi-finalist at Austin Film Festival – and then nothing.

This year, if I apply for the ABC/Disney Writing Program (a.k.a. Fellowship), it will make year 14. Fourteen years, man. I can’t decide if that should make me scream or cry, and it might ease the pain if I knew if there was someone out there who has been trying longer than I have. And this year, I didn’t even get a rejection email or letter from Disney – just the wall of silence. That heart-breaking letter let me know my submission was at least opened! But I will submit my application this one last year, and call it over. Of course, iIt hasn’t helped that at work I’m not having any better luck with writing than I have elsewhere in my writing career.

None of that is a meant to be a pity trip, but it really hurts when you realize that your dream, something you’ve invested so much time, energy, and emotion into, will never be realized. And it’s time to let it die. Above all else, the part that makes it hurt so much more, is when you know that you’re having to deal with alone because no one around you would understand. They didn’t understand when you were dreaming it, they sure as shit won’t understand it when you’re mourning the death of your dream.

 
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Posted in Life, Writing

 

Well, what’s done is done…

10 Jan

Well, I’m stupid. BillMeLater has been around forever and I’ve tried to use it in the past, but to no avail. Until last night, when by some sheer luck of madness my order for a desktop computer was approved. But I guess I can look at this in one of two ways:

1. OH MY GOD! What the fuck was I thinking! I don’t have money for a loan, even a $650 loan! I haven’t paid off the loans I DO have!

Or

2. It is really fucking hard to use a mini-book when I’m working with huge tech articles for work at home, I can’t play Sims on it, I can’t do huge graphics on it, I can’t… And my current desktop is sitting over there, staring at me, because it will not, absolutely refuses to, and with no uncertainty will, work. And I’m sure that the fact the newest part in it is four years old and the oldest part in it is 13 years old, may be a factor.

So, now I’m getting a desktop. And now I can work at home because I’m living above ground with the majority of humans. And this… I guess this is really the determining factor in the good, the bad, and the OMG of the whole moment.

 
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Posted in Life, Randomness, Work

 

Moving SUX!

18 Dec

I hate moving.

There is nothing I can think of that I enjoy about moving. In fact, I loathe it so much that I stayed in my last place just to avoid the idea. But eventually the obvious became, well, obvious. The place was slowly driving me insane. It was in a basement, it was dark, it was dirty, there were bugs, the toilet was right against the shower so you were always banging your knee when you pooped, and the neighbors above had a ceiling fan right over my bed that sounded like a semi idling – and to which they chose often to leave running.

So, I broke down and went hunting for a place with my best friend. That’s when all the nightmares called life began. By some stroke of luck, I found a really great place. True, it is in a trailer park – but it’s not a trailer. It’s a modular. And we’re sticking to that fake belief because it’s a modular, not a trailer. So there. To top it off, there’s a washer and dryer, a dishwasher, a real kitchen sink (mine was a camper style, single sink), and the location is quiet.

We no sooner signed the lease and she gets laid off. Foregoing all grace – FUCK!

Perhaps it was stubbornness, or perhaps it was sheer desperation on both our parts, but we decided we had to see this through and stay. Really, this is a very nice modular. And the layout is great for when we have a personality clash. In the past, that has been the reason we didn’t do well living together, but with 1400+ feet, that may not be a problem.

And then we were faced with telling everyone that we were, in fact, moving in together. Because of our past track record living together, everyone raised eyebrows and offered up lectures and promised not to help if either of us found ourselves stuck with the rent on the place by ourselves.

And then I had a huge blow out with my step-mom and it wasn’t looking like I was going to get anyone to move me. But somehow, I did. I had to be moved in 4 hours – and they managed to do it. But I lost my cat because we could only have one pet and I let her son keep his dog, one of my fish died in the move (prolly cuz he plowed into the side of the tank when I was taking them out), my desktop will not boot, and the phone jack where I need to put the DSL modem is broken.

But really, none of these are the worst part (even the dying fish). The worst part is I am not an active person – shame on me, I know, but some people are, most people aren’t, and tonight I am feeling the pain! There isn’t a part on me that isn’t asking, ‘What the fuck!? Do you fucking hate us? Hell and shit and everything in between!’

But I’m in my new place now. There’s no engine loud fan over my head, I don’t have to go to a laundry mat, I don’t have stairs that are two feet deep and six steps long, and I have a dishwasher AND a regular kitchen sink! Now, I haven’t had a chance to live with my friend and her son yet. They’re gone until after Christmas. But I think, maybe, perhaps it’s just hoping, that this might be a doable situation.

Just maybe.

And thank God I have an iPod Classic – because today I needed a serious Breathe Carolina fix and my desktop is being all stupid!

 
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Posted in Randomness

 
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